Memory is Fluid
Toni Morrison wrote, “All water has a perfect memory and is forever trying to get back to where it was.”
“Writers are like that,” she continues, “remembering where we were, that valley we ran through, what the banks were like, the light that was there and the route back to our original place. It is emotional memory--what the nerves and the skin remember as well as how it appeared.”
I think memory is underplayed as a writing tool. Perhaps because it’s not as concrete as scene setting, or detail selection, pacing or voice. But by honing memory, writers can linguistically magnify the poignant moments in their stories and stir deep feeling and empathy in a reader. By highlighting certain memories in an artful way, writers can make readers feel as if they, too, are reaching their fingers around that china cup full of hot tea.
There’s actually science on this: literary neuroscience. There’s a category of brain cells called mirror neurons that fire when a person does something, but they are also present when a person observes someone else perform that same action. Our brains model what it would feel like to do that same thing. In the end, as far as your brain is concerned, there’s little difference between reading about someone doing something and doing it yourself.
I’ve heard so many writers say that they just can’t remember details or that just can’t trust their memories. Thing is, they aren’t wrong. Memory isn’t reliable; it’s like water in its fluidity.
It’s just that they just haven’t given it enough time.
I have found that the more I lean into memory, the more I remember. I urge writers not to fret about remembering incorrectly. Instead I urge them to capture the emotional truth of a moment.
For example, writing my memoir about the night of my terrible auto accident, I struggled to remember what music my father was playing on the record player in the den. I narrowed it down to Sarah Vaughn, Roberta Flack or Miram Makeba. I angsted over this for months until I finally landed on this insight: If I could express the emotional truth of that moment through his musical choice, then the scene would be heightened. Ultimately I chose Sarah Vaughn to highlight his lighter mood to contrast against my dark and worried one.
How can we stir memory?
So many ways.
Look at photographs or old film clips.
Dig into that box of old letters.
Initiate a conversation with a family member around their memory of a shared experience.
Visit the library to learn more about the town a family member lived in.
Undergo a genetic test.
Start a family history search.
These can get the memory wheels moving.
And writing can keep them turning.
Photo by Ellen Blum Barish
What’s Coming Up
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Ruth Cohen Institute for Mental Health Conference. Saturday, June 10.
Lighthouse Lit Fest, Thursday, June 15, 2:30-4:30 (CT)
Lighthouse Lit Fest, Friday, June 16, 10 -noon (CT).